自學英語不求人

Learning English is interesting. It is not a secret that many people will try to use their own language (mother tongue) to pronounce English words. For example, Mandarin speaker will substitute "I don't want" with "爱东万" ("ai dong wan" in hanyu pinyin). A friend of mine sent me a junk mail with these pictures a couple of days ago. I guess it is interesting enough to share them here.

So, this the front page of the book with the title translated literally into English as "Self Learn English Language Not Begging People".


However, this book is not meant for Mandarin speaker. Well, it is written in Traditional Chinese but you have to say all the pronunciations in Cantonese.

Here is another page of it. I wish I have more pages to share. If you can't read or speak Chinese, please don't be mistaken that this is an effort to promote English or something. This is actualy more like a "joke-of-the-day".

I want to buy this book!!! It is definitely very much sought after by collectors.

Of All Flowres Methinks A Rose Is Best

Picture taken at the Rose Garden, Portland, Oregon on December 25th, 2005.

Happy Saint Valentine's Day

Today is the big day where money is spent in exchange for love. Sorry, I put it in a not so positive way. Well, in my opinion, showing how much you love the other party does not have to be on this time of the year. There is a feeling of being kind of "diluted" today. What do you mean?

OK, let's imagine this. If everyone in the neighbourhood is driving either a Mercedes-Benz or BMW, you will look a bit cheap even you have an Audi. Even if you have a Mercedes-Benz, you are just another Ah Beng. Too common, "ta ta lang pun si ane kuan" (a Penang Hokkien phrase). Similar to those who went for last minute shopping prior to festive season and stuck in a traffic jam for 4 hours in the shopping complex car park.

So, why not pick a day on your own and declare it your own St. Valentine's Day? That day will be the day where you don't have to compete with other Ah Bengs to buy flowers. That day will be a special day where you don't have to pay a premium for a dinner-for-two.

Someone told me about IQ and EQ sometime ago. People having high IQ does not necessarily having high EQ and vice versa. I am trying to establish a link between IQ/EQ and people's action on St. Valentine's Day. As usual, we can break this down into the famous 4 combinations, low-high, low-low, high-low, and high-high.

There are only a small percentage of people with high IQ. Yes, they are the geniuses. Most of the people in this world are having an IQ of below average. Therefore, the first group, i.e. the "low IQ high EQ" will follow what others do without thinking twice. They do it because they think that it will be abnormal if they don't it. In addition, they are taking care of their partners feelings, they don't want to take unnecessary risk. Since they made up the biggest group, their action becomes the "society's norm".

I read from a website that our friend, Mike Tyson is a an example of "low IQ low EQ". On St. Valentine's Day, these people are Ah Bengs who buy all the flowers from a florist and send to their Ah Lians. "So lohmentik ar!!!" Eight thousand eight hundred eighty eight (8888) roses, I am sure those Ah Bengs will get rich and prosperous by striking the Empat Nombor Ekor. Buy the number 1426 with 24 permutations, RM100 big RM100 small for each number.

People with "high IQ low EQ" will die very young because they cannot accept this world. Why people are so stupid??? They are smart by not participating but could ended up being single for their rest of their life... Some geniuses might try to impress their partner by learning some French words such as, "Je t'aime" (I love you), "Vous êtes très spéciale pour moi" (you are very special to me), and even "Veux-tu m'épouser?" (Will you marry me?). I don't know how it will go if the genius substitutes roses with orchids.

The winners are always those with "high IQ high EQ". They will be selling flowers, teddy bears, chocolates, strawberries, etc. at extraordinary prices. Restaurant owners will charge a first class price, with second class product, and provide third class service. Not forgetting those small entrepreneurs who sell glow-in-the-dark condoms as they are trying to make a living too. These people will be laughing their way to the bank and celebrating their own St. Valentine's Day on February 15.

The stupid guy who does nothing but blogging is sitting in front of the computer right now. Damn it.

Ah Lian Boey Handphones

A few of us engaged in a conversation about cellphones today which includes a topic on cellphone jammers as well. Still centered on cellphones but the sub topics jumped from 3G to tri-band / quad-band phones too. It suddenly reminded me on an interesting incident before I went to US.

First of all, this blog has nothing to do with "Ah Cheng Boey Roti" because Ah Lian really sells handphones here. If you are searching for "Unchained Melody", this entry is not the right place. Secondly, cellphones are know as handphones in this part of the world. Please don't ask me why. The best I can do is to give you RM 3.60 to consult a medium and ask god. The third point is a disclaimer. I am going to blog the real conversation in Penang Hokkien dialect. Please don't burn flags and embassies because you are insulted.

Me: Ji leh handphone si em si tri-band eh? (Is this cellphone a tri-bander?)

Handphone Lian: Ji leh moler gua kok eh sai iong eh. (This model can be used overseas)

Me: Gua kok si talok? (Where do you mean by overseas?)

Handphone Lian: Chuan seh kai pun eh sai lomming. (Can do roaming throughout the world)

Me: Lu oo ii eh 说明书 boh? (Do you have its instruction manual?)

Handphone Lian: Wa boh pian lu eh. Ha mi su ai pian lu? (I am not bluffing you. Why do I have to lie to you?)

If you are a Malaysian, I am sure you are used to this kind of attitude. However, I think angmo will just "geleng kepala" and walk away. Some might keep complaining with the "fuck" and "suck" words. Maybe should teach angmo to say "lu ki ho lang kan la..."

Look at my 3 questions again. The Handphone Lian never answered one properly. Kannineh!

Knock 'em Dead Interview - Part 3

It has been a year since I last blogged about interviews. The part 1 and part 2 are archived under the January 2005 link. Last month, I encountered an interesting guy during a walk-in interview. This guy had 11 years of working experience in the United States. His resume is quite impressive too. So, I decided to interview this guy.

When this guy came to the interview booth, he sat on the chair leaning his back on the chair. At the same time, his two hands were on his hip while his head is tilted to the side a little bit. In addition to such a "stylish" (有型) posture, he shook his leg as well. Try to imagine it yourself. Needless to say, the English was accented but not really sounded like an American.

Anyway, we chatted a bit and here was the climax of it.

My question: Mr. [something], from your resume I can see that you had a lot of experience and deep knowledge in designing car audio system. I have an interesting question for you. Well, in a typical automobile, we know that the car battery is rated at 12V. Why most of the automotive electrical appliances such as car audio has a rated nominal voltage at 13.8V?

The guy immediately stopped shaking his leg and pulled the chair closer to the table. I guessed he needed more focus and therefore, adjusted his spectacles. I could see that he was kind of a little shocked with the question. He was sitting upright better than being instructed by the air stewardess before take off or landing. "Dumb struck" is the appropriate word to be used here, I guess.

Even though he couldn't answer this question, he was pretty knowledgeable in certain areas. He has his strengths and areas of improvements. Anyway, this guy is pretty fun to work with. We ended up talking like a friend by the time we ended the interview.

The moral of the story is that we shouldn't judge the book by its cover. Give yourself and others enough time to know each other. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. You might find that a bad first impression could be sometimes deceiving.

Good luck, my friend!

All Money Put My Home

It is the 7th day of the Chinese New Year, which is also known as everybody's birthday (人日). Here is a new mantra for this new year. You can recite it anytime, anywhere.

The six-syllable "All Money Put My Home" could be traced back to its Sanskrit origin, i.e. the famous "Om Mani Padme Hum". The Tibetan version is "Om Mani Peme Hung", while the Chinese make it easy for Mandarin speakers and pronounce it as "An Ma Ni Bami Huang".

With the advancement of information and communication technology, we are sharing the secret of this mantra with the rest of the world in English.

To make this blog entry sounds like a chain letter, here is the magical phrase "Please forward this to everyone you know!".

Happy Birthday!